Shit that boils your piss

[ianpdq]

This bloody Government for being the biggest load of tozzers to rule the country they could not organise a piss up in a brewery

[limbicsystem]

Grammar Nazis

[Emperor Fabulous]

Old duffers and (sadly, usually) women who, deciding they are now looking for a parking space or what have you, slow to 2mph and suddenly become completely and totally oblivious to everyone else on the road - the two mile queue building up behind them, the ambulance with sirens and lights flashing an inch from their bumper.

Asian call centres staffed by people named 'Charles' and 'Caroline' with such thick accents you can't understand half of what they are trying to say with the dumbass script they force you to go through (could you please turn it off and on again) before eventually passing you onto someone else who also hasn't got a fucking clue, where you have to explain everything again from the beginning. Two hours and five oddly British named "support" staff later, you eventually get put on hold then mysteriously disconnected.

Well off morons who have lived all their lives in a home-counties bubble of privilege who arrogantly believe they are worldly-wise and have the solution to the country's woes and try to foist their immense retardedness on us all. Tories, I think is the common term for them.

Flourescent pink, huge bellied, tattooed fucktards who parade about on public streets, topless, with a can of lager in their hand, as soon as the sun comes out for more than ten seconds. Especially when they do it abroad. Imagine thousands of Frenchmen parading around like that in the UK.

Cocksuckers who drive half an inch from your rear bumper in the fast lane when you're already doing 85 and there's a long line of traffic immediately in front of you (so there's almost no advantage to them overtaking you anyway), but, when you pull over to let them pass, they overtake then pull into lane 2 and slow down to 20mph less than you were doing in the first place.

Bernard Manning, Jim Davidson, Stupid women, racists, homophobes, Roy 'Chubby' Brown, Music snobs, selfish shits who have no consideration for the peace and quiet of others by partying all night / playing stupidly loud music in their garden in summer, Nick Clegg, all these four billion percent APR loan companies trying to rip off the desperate and the uneducated, and... Stilton cheese.

Oh, and Israel.

...and American Neocon politics and the redneck inbreds who blindly follow them, not knowing what they are doing, but know they want to go 'Whoooooop !!!' and "America ! - Fuck YEAH !", who don't have a passport and wouldn't know where Paris was if you showed them a map of France with Paris circled in red with the words "PARIS IS HERE" and a big flourescent arrow pointing at it

AAAAAAND..... Cilla fucking Black, Cliff bastard Richards, Richard retard Madeley, the BNP, The Sun, The Daily Mail, Idiotic late night gambling programmes, Despots who won't hand over power when they have been defeated, Fox News, anyone that says 'Nucular', Hitler and rough nasty wine. In that order.

[BucketheadRules]

1) Religionists who use their religion to compromise the lives of others, whether intentionally or not.

2) People who don't remember this:



3) Folk's who type like twat's on the internet and dont seem to know where to put apostrophe's... orrrrr howwwwww manyyyyy extraaaaa lettersssss theyyyyy puttttt onnnn theeeeee endddddddddd offff everyyy worddddddddd. Or People Who Type With Capital Letters At The Start Of Every Word And Seemingly Avoid All Punctuation Which Makes Reading Their Idiotic Outpourings All The More Difficult And They Just Don't Care Which Makes The Whole Situation That Much More Galling.

Or worse still, people who do all of that in the same sentence. I have seen it done before. Grrr.

4) And Will.I.Am. The bastard's everyfuckingwhere and I can't stand him or his music. Tosspot. I hate him. Bastard wanker tit bollock arse bandit knob end. No, I'm not a fan of his.

[guitarcookie1]

Old duffers and (sadly, usually) women who, deciding they are now looking for a parking space or what have you, slow to 2mph and suddenly become completely and totally oblivious to everyone else on the road - the two mile queue building up behind them, the ambulance with sirens and lights flashing an inch from their bumper.

Asian call centres staffed by people named 'Charles' and 'Caroline' with such thick accents you can't understand half of what they are trying to say with the dumbass script they force you to go through (could you please turn it off and on again) before eventually passing you onto someone else who also hasn't got a fucking clue, where you have to explain everything again from the beginning. Two hours and five oddly British named "support" staff later, you eventually get put on hold then mysteriously disconnected.

Well off morons who have lived all their lives in a home-counties bubble of privilege who arrogantly believe they are worldly-wise and have the solution to the country's woes and try to foist their immense retardedness on us all. Tories, I think is the common term for them.

Flourescent pink, huge bellied, tattooed fucktards who parade about on public streets, topless, with a can of lager in their hand, as soon as the sun comes out for more than ten seconds. Especially when they do it abroad. Imagine thousands of Frenchmen parading around like that in the UK.

Cocksuckers who drive half an inch from your rear bumper in the fast lane when you're already doing 85 and there's a long line of traffic immediately in front of you (so there's almost no advantage to them overtaking you anyway), but, when you pull over to let them pass, they overtake then pull into lane 2 and slow down to 20mph less than you were doing in the first place.

Bernard Manning, Jim Davidson, Stupid women, racists, homophobes, Roy 'Chubby' Brown, Music snobs, selfish shits who have no consideration for the peace and quiet of others by partying all night / playing stupidly loud music in their garden in summer, Nick Clegg, all these four billion percent APR loan companies trying to rip off the desperate and the uneducated, and... Stilton cheese.

Oh, and Israel.

...and American Neocon politics and the redneck inbreds who blindly follow them, not knowing what they are doing, but know they want to go 'Whoooooop !!!' and "America ! - Fuck YEAH !", who don't have a passport and wouldn't know where Paris was if you showed them a map of France with Paris circled in red with the words "PARIS IS HERE" and a big flourescent arrow pointing at it

AAAAAAND..... Cilla fucking Black, Cliff bastard Richards, Richard retard Madeley, the BNP, The Sun, The Daily Mail, Idiotic late night gambling programmes, Despots who won't hand over power when they have been defeated, Fox News, anyone that says 'Nucular', Hitler and rough nasty wine. In that order.

1) Religionists who use their religion to compromise the rights, or happiness, of others, whether intentionally or not.

2) People who don't remember this:



3) People who type like twats on the internet and don't seem to care where they put their apostrophe's... orrrrr howwwwww manyyyyy extraaaaa lettersssss theyyyyy puttttt onnnn theeeeee endddddddddd offff everyyy worddddddddd. Or People Who Type With Capital Letters At The Start Of Every Word And Seemingly Avoid All Punctuation Which Makes Reading Their Idiotic Outpourings All The More Difficult And They Just Don't Care Which Makes The Whole Situation That Much More Galling.

Or worse still, people who do all of that in the same sentence. I have seen it done before. Grrr.

4) And Will.I.Am. The bastard's everyfuckingwhere and I can't stand him or his music. Tosspot. I hate him. Bastard wanker tit bollock arse bandit knob end. No, I'm not a fan of his.

+1 to all the above

& people who just "+1" other forum quotes.. Oh oops..

[jalapeno]

Old duffers and (sadly, usually) women who, deciding they are now looking for a parking space or what have you, slow to 2mph and suddenly become completely and totally oblivious to everyone else on the road - the two mile queue building up behind them, the ambulance with sirens and lights flashing an inch from their bumper.

Asian call centres staffed by people named 'Charles' and 'Caroline' with such thick accents you can't understand half of what they are trying to say with the dumbass script they force you to go through (could you please turn it off and on again) before eventually passing you onto someone else who also hasn't got a fucking clue, where you have to explain everything again from the beginning. Two hours and five oddly British named "support" staff later, you eventually get put on hold then mysteriously disconnected.

Well off morons who have lived all their lives in a home-counties bubble of privilege who arrogantly believe they are worldly-wise and have the solution to the country's woes and try to foist their immense retardedness on us all. Tories, I think is the common term for them.

Flourescent pink, huge bellied, tattooed fucktards who parade about on public streets, topless, with a can of lager in their hand, as soon as the sun comes out for more than ten seconds. Especially when they do it abroad. Imagine thousands of Frenchmen parading around like that in the UK.

Cocksuckers who drive half an inch from your rear bumper in the fast lane when you're already doing 85 and there's a long line of traffic immediately in front of you (so there's almost no advantage to them overtaking you anyway), but, when you pull over to let them pass, they overtake then pull into lane 2 and slow down to 20mph less than you were doing in the first place.

Bernard Manning, Jim Davidson, Stupid women, racists, homophobes, Roy 'Chubby' Brown, Music snobs, selfish shits who have no consideration for the peace and quiet of others by partying all night / playing stupidly loud music in their garden in summer, Nick Clegg, all these four billion percent APR loan companies trying to rip off the desperate and the uneducated, and... Stilton cheese.

Oh, and Israel.

...and American Neocon politics and the redneck inbreds who blindly follow them, not knowing what they are doing, but know they want to go 'Whoooooop !!!' and "America ! - Fuck YEAH !", who don't have a passport and wouldn't know where Paris was if you showed them a map of France with Paris circled in red with the words "PARIS IS HERE" and a big flourescent arrow pointing at it

AAAAAAND..... Cilla fucking Black, Cliff bastard Richards, Richard retard Madeley, the BNP, The Sun, The Daily Mail, Idiotic late night gambling programmes, Despots who won't hand over power when they have been defeated, Fox News, anyone that says 'Nucular', Hitler and rough nasty wine. In that order.

The Emp earlier this evening ....

[godlykepower]

I can't believe I forgot to mention my all time number 1 annoyance: people who don't know how or when to use the word "literally."

I work with a retarded chav teenage cnut who not only uses it thusly "I was so pissed last night, I literally died" but apparently you can also end a sentence with the word "literally" if you have used up the other 5 words in your vocabulary. "I was so pissed last night, I literally died. I was like, literally."

Fucking uneducated wanker.

Following on from this, but closely related, is when teenagers pad out a sentence with the word "like."
I used to manage a Costa Coffee & I once overheard a pair of teenage girls approaching the till, badly using "literally"...when they got to me, my back was already up, so when I was asked "do you have, like, Hot Chocolate?"...my reply of "No, but I do have actual Hot Chocolate" was met with blank stares.

[rocktron]

Microsoft Word when it goes into predictive mode and second guesses, incorrectly, what I want to type, and other instances when it has a mind of its own!!! You stupid thing, when I open a document, that is the only document I want you to open on the desktop.....not every other document I had minimised to be layered on top of each other!!!!

Newspapers whose editors think the entire population is interested in Kim Kardashian (since when is she a Hollywood star?), Jordan, Miranda Kerr and her baby Flynn, Coco (who is she?) and her fat ass, Suri Criuse, Katy Perry, Russell Brand in clothes a tramp wouldn't wear, Tulisa, and the antics of the entire cast of TOWIE and Made in Chelsea!!!

Online news, where the journalists do not proofread their articles before getting them typeset for printing and publication.

[Vim Fuego]

what boils my piss? very little. Guess I'm just happy and contented. Bet that boils some piss somewhere

[chrispy108]

Huge Rant

I think this is why you had a heart attack! Take a deep breathe and chill out big man!


I get an addressed Virgin Media brochure every week, despite them not having a cable where I live...