A microphone mounting conundrum

[Sporky_McGuffin]

Wotcher all - a brain-picking moment.

I have a work customer who wants to use a handheld microphone for a voice reinforcement application where the person speaking will stand behind a lectern. However, there are some limitations that they've imposed.

1) They don't want to hold the mic while using it.
2) They will not accept a floor stand for the mic.
3) We cannot clamp a mic clip to the lectern.
4) We cannot drill into the lectern.
5) We cannot hang anything from the ceiling.

The only two alternatives I can think of are to span across the walls to mount the mic in mid-air in front of the speaker (this, I am sure, will be rejected as a ludicrous idea) or to use a boom-pole (which will, I think, also be rejected).

This seems like an impossible challenge to me, but the customer is suggesting that I am "a clueless amateur" for not being able to solve the problem. Anyone got any ideas (other than where to hide the body)?

[stickyfiddle]

I assume a clip-on lapel mic is out of the question?

Otherwise I can only think of levitation..

[Sporky_McGuffin]

The customer insists that it must be a handheld style microphone and has rejected the idea of a wireless lapel mic as - and I quote - "ridiculous nonsense".

[DiscoStu]

Just use a desktop mic stand. I've got one.

[stickyfiddle]

The customer insists that it must be a handheld style microphone and has rejected the idea of a wireless lapel mic as - and I quote - "ridiculous nonsense".

Excellent. They sound like a forward thinking bunch

A boundary microphone on the lecturn?

[DiscoStu]

Here's my desktop stand. My dad used to use it for home recording.

DSC00482 (800x450).jpg

It's just a baseplate with a thread through it, then screw on your mic clip.
You could make one of these, Sporky. Having looked underneath my one, I think that's exactly what my dad did!

DSC00484 (800x450).jpg
DSC00485 (800x450).jpg

[Sporky_McGuffin]

Just use a desktop mic stand. I've got one.

Sorry - forgot to mention - can't stand anything on the lectern.

Excellent. They sound like a forward thinking bunch

A boundary microphone on the lecturn?

Nope - must be a handheld mic.

I'm not being daft in thinking that they've ruled out every possibility, am I?

The microphone will not, of its own accord, hang in space. Thus it must be supported. The available supports comprise the floor (ruled out), ceiling (ruled out), lectern (ruled out) or the person speaking (ruled out), so that doesn't leave anything?

[Lixarto]

Could you not fashion a small robot to hold it up?

[DiscoStu]

You could sit it on the back of a horse.
They haven't mentioned horses, have they?

[Sporky_McGuffin]

Excellent suggestions!

Given the decor I'm not sure they'd go for the robot, but a chestnut horse would look ok with all the wood in the room. I'll suggest that...