A microphone mounting conundrum

[Lixarto]

Given the decor I'm not sure they'd go for the robot, but a chestnut horse would look ok with all the wood in the room. I'll suggest that...

Should keep the customer on good behaviour.

[DiscoStu]

Is there a reason your customer is being so impossible?
Are you sitting a test?

[daveyh]

What's the context? Is it religious/Masonic?

[DiscoStu]

The microphone will not, of its own accord, hang in space. Thus it must be supported. The available supports comprise the floor (ruled out), ceiling (ruled out), lectern (ruled out) or the person speaking (ruled out), so that doesn't leave anything?

You've missed an option-
get someone else to hold it!

Sometimes I'm just too awesome.

[daveyh]

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Suspend it from a quadrotor.

[DiscoStu]

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Suspend it from a quadrotor.

Oo, yes! Or a strong hummingbird!
Both will give noise problems, mind.

So here's a perfect solution:
Microphone is tied to a helium balloon.
A counterweight is suspended below the mic to achieve the optimum mic float height in front of lectern and person speaking.

So there you have it- one handheld microphone, not on any form of stand and not touching any surface or human. No animals need to be involved and there'll be no extraneous noises to contend with.

Brief fulfilled.

[daveyh]

Microphone is tied to a helium balloon.

Even better, one of those remote control scale model zeppelins. Then if anyone else wants to talk the mic can zoom over to them!

Winner!

[stickyfiddle]

How about flooding the room and attaching the mic to a carefully trained, and largely-tame shark?

[kickdown]

Perhaps you could stick the mic straight up his arse ? Some people are prize prats.

[thereformant]

How has no-one mentioned gaffa tape yet?