The missus tells you she has to "get a few bits and bobs", and £250 later, you're struggling like a knackered pack-horse, loading all the gear in the car, wondering how whether the rear suspension's going to cope, and where all the people are coming from to eat all the stuff, given there's only two of us in the house. Christ almighty, I reckon I could feed the 5 thousand if the messiah himself couldn't turn up because he had Man-flu or something.
Still, it's not all bad news: She's bought me a bottle of Penderyn single malt whisky for Chrimbo (produce of Wales, apparently, so one can only hope......), a bottle of 10-year old LBV port for our wedding anniversary, and I've even managed to find some of the Bertie-recommended Cusquena beer.
The next thing is all the Christmas trees. Most homes have one, but we on the other hand, have 5 of them. All of which look like something out of a magazine, heaving with as many decorations as is possible to fit on them. It's a wonder the floorboards can stand it. Our loft space is home only to Christmas trees and decorations for 11 months of the year, nothing else will fit.
This is in complete contrast to my old mum, whose decorations are almost certainly pre-war survivors from the blitz, and have a faded patina about them. The once brightly-coloured garlands are rather more pastel shades now, and they've been cropped so many times, they're shorter than my cock. The 2' high silver tinsel Christmas tree, already getting a bit threadbare when I left home some 39 years ago, is still proudly doing sterling service, however is resembling a bald twig, being completely devoid of all foliage these days.
Frankly, I'll be glad when it's all over, and I can recover the feeling of space in the house, when the trees are banished to the loft once again. I do envy those with kids though, it's a magic time for them, and I've had some superb Christmas holidays in the past.
I sympathize dude, Christmas can be a pain in the ass!
I'm trying to figure out how to stretch £50 so I can buy presents for my mum, dad, brother and girlfriend. We're already skipping lunch here and never going out so I can't really find money from elsewhere either.
Christmas is definitely for the kids, awesome times were had!