Manchester's a bit strange
So I'm in Manchester on a course today and came down last night from Cumbria. I was staying in the Palace and got talking to a woman in the bar, probably mid-40s. We started this game where you ask each other a question and you have to promise to tell the truth. Pretty soon things got a bit fruity, when she started asking me if I'd ever had an affair and I said no, I'm happily married. She replied 'but you'd like to wouldn't you?' I said 'well it's look but don't touch really isn't it?, and she replied 'it doesn't have to be' and gave me this weird smile. I was a bit out of my depth at this point so soon after I told her I had to meet a friend and left.
I left the hotel and was wandering down the road when I saw a pub called The Salisbury, which I remember I used to go in when I went out in Manchester when I was younger so crossed the road and a little man sauntered up and started shouting 'Do you want some Parklife?' at me, and started dancing in the middle of the road. I said I'd get back to him and walked into the pub, ordered a beer and sat down.
About half an hour later another bloke, a bit rough looking, sat down next to me and started chatting. After a bit he whispered 'do you do cocaine?', to which I said no sorry. He then said that he needed to get to Chorlton to do a deal and could I give him a lift? He'd cut me in on the deal. He said not to worry about funny business because he had 'protection' and patted his jacket pocket (at which my first thought was condoms?, but I realised he meant some sort of weapon). I said I couldn't because I was probably over the limit, to which he said 'Awwww don't worry about the police, man'. I thought that was pretty much the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard (I'm not naturally a cautious person but the thought of driving a man I'd just met to an area of Manchester I didn't know, in a car full of class A drugs and weapons, whilst over the limit, and at the end of which I'd probably just get my car nicked, is the sort of thing that gets me a bit twitchy). I made an excuse to go to the toilet and legged it from the pub back to the hotel.
Whilst crossing the road, my friend from earlier was still dancing in the road. He approached me and pushed my shoulder, asking if I wanted to fight him. I backed off and he kept coming but then backed off himself and ran off. He must have spotted a couple of policemen who happened to be wandering up the road. Lucky for me.
Back at the hotel, I went up to my floor to find the woman from earlier just going into her room just up the corridor. She told me I knew where to find her if I wanted her. I told her I really thought it was time for me to go to bed, and left her in the corridor. So I went into my room and had a slightly unsettled bath and not much sleep.
That was a strange night.
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Last edited by hungrymark; 31st January 2013 at 09:22 AM.
Mark, that's a frigging great post. Flesh it out a bit and it's Kafka-esque, or like something from Burrough's more lucid moments!
The mistake was made in the first paragraph, never have conversations with strange women in hotel bars unless you are in the game.
www.soundcloud.com/geared-1
Evilmags, in his own true words: "I'm a well known pervert who'd stop at nothing to get my hands on anything female".
I really hope this was written as an alibi for the first paragraph
'My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic'
Brilliant!
I love drinking alone in strange places, crazy shit always happens
All practice and no theory
I know. If I hadn't started talking to her I'd have just had a nice, quiet evening with a couple of beers and a book. Bloody women get me into all sorts of trouble.Originally Posted by Snap
Genuinely glad it's not just me
Very Twilight Zone ...
It did feel a bit like I'd stepped into a David Lynch film. God knows what would have happened if I'd gone with the bloke in the pub. Very bad things, presumably...
that wasnt a woman......................."mr lumpy"
......"Bertie is pretty much a zen master..................."
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