I'm getting older... and I don't like it anymore :-(
Bear with me.... this one gets weird....
I'm 46 on Sunday. I was fine with 30, not that bothered by 40, and didn't even notice 41-45 going past, but 46.... that's closer to 50 than to 40.
50.
Fifty.
Jesus H.
Where the hell has my life gone ? I'm still 20 in my head. I haven't done a fraction of what I wanted to, nor achieved any of the 'basics' in life, like - own a house, have kids, have a pension to rely on in my old age. I'm 46, no savings, no house, a shitload of debt and no pension.
I'm now at the point where my age counts against me in job applications.
How the hell can I make up for all the missed time ?
This isn't how I hoped it would be.
Take heed all you young people... get your act together now, 'cos you'll take your eye off the ball and in the blink of an eye you'll find yourself middle aged and going "whoaaaa ! - what the fuck happened there ??!!! - last time I looked I was 26 !!!" In your twenties, you try to look ahead at the rest of your life and it's like you have eons of time laid out before you. At least I felt that anyway... I was unable to grasp the enormity of the endless decades ahead. There will always be plenty of time to do this, get that, sort out whatever.
No there won't. It passes silently and quickly without you noticing, until one day you suddenly realise how much time has gone and you never even saw it going past. The one thing I never understood in my younger days was just how fast it goes.
Get your finances in order. SAVE. (and yes, you CAN afford it, even if it's only a few quid a week). There are no second chances - it's a one-way one-time journey and before you know it you'll be trying to come to terms with the concept that there are more years behind you than you have left. That's a biggie - looking into your future and seeing the end of the line visible on the horizon for the first time. I dread to think what it must be like for folks much further down the line - to live with the idea that any particular day might be your last.
I've come to the conclusion that life is pretty shit. To be a creature that has a consciousness and understanding of the finite nature of it's own existence is a pretty shit thing to be. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant. You can understand people's desire to believe in religions that preach that death is not the end.
/midlife crisis
*p.s. No quotes from Floyd's 'Time' or Python's 'Meaning of Life' please
Last edited by Emperor Fabulous; 22nd April 2010 at 10:31 PM.
Originally Posted by Myranda_Rose
How about something from Life Of Brian?*p.s. No quotes from Floyd's 'Time' or Python's 'Meaning of Life' please
You're with stupid. ▲
You're suffering from Dark side of the moon syndrome - lighten up and enjoy life or you'll end up like Roger Waters ..
your just another day older and closer to death!
Then perhaps those basics aren't for you (or you'd have done them) - you might be piling them on to compound your sense of failure - watch out for that. What do you want to do with your life?
Can you prove that or is it a suspicion? The media sells us useless salves for our anxiety by promoting the things we cannot control and have to learn to accept: success, ageing, beauty.
Find the awesome things you have done in that time - you're not going to be happy or being honest with yourself until you remember those too. Then do like Scrooge
Were your hopes clearly defined? If not, it's hard to realise them. Give some serious thought to what you can realistically achieve now.
Try not to think you can redeem yourself by telling other people to get with the program. You need to tell yourself. It's a well trodden unsatisfying path.
How about those decades you've still get, eh?6 of them maybe... you're still ducking the enormity by telling other people to do stuff: do it for yourself - then if there's time help other people - if they want it (I'm exploring my motives here too ;^)
What you are describing here is called the "mindless script" it is one of the banal life scripts (as opposed to tragic life scripts) identified by Chris Steiner's research. Most people don't wake up from it until their on their death-bed so count yourself ahead of the game, Neo
I was thinking about this today as I relived my toddler-years watching diggers demolish a building near the station. I've been holding out for a happy ending since the very beginning. I thought about "and they lived happily ever after" - it's sounds frighteningly like another phrase. Really there is happiness now and that's about it - every second but with an optimistic eye to the future.
that other phrase "eternal life". The sword of Damocles hung over his head to remind him what he had was transient but he ended up being scared it'd drop on him.
A very wise woman (Chrissi from this place) once said to me "you snooze, you lose" - it irritated the hell out of me, because I'd nearly 4 decades of snoozing to get over - but perhaps the sting of that loss is what's driving me now - I reckon I owe her for that
Last edited by frankus; 23rd April 2010 at 09:20 AM.
mucus ardour urban mr men turnip!
You've already been too old to apply for a number of jobs in the armed forces for nearly 20 years...
28 is the upper age limit for all sorts of jobs int he armed forces... 30 is the upper limit for joining as anofficer and 32 is the upper limit for joining full stop.
So for 18 years your age has prohibited you from gaining certain jobs, why start worrying about it now
Hope this was some help
仁慈的上帝，请带我走我将关闭自己的耳朵，我的心，我将一块石头
What ? Pointing out to me that it's actually worse than I originally though ?
Ta love.
I'm 44 next week, I'm not exactly liking it either...
Bloody youngster.
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